Thursday, March 03, 2005


Honesty in Advertising/ Dishonesty in Advertising

Good to see that Destiny's Child are sponsored by McDonalds, on their
"Destiny fulfilled … and lovin' it" tour (yes, really).

How many Bigs Macs do you reckon Beyonce Knowles eats, lets say, in an average week?

In separate news, I learn from Bitter Shack of Resentment that McDonalds has also been promoting its products in the good, old-fashioned, Victor Kayam manner: top executives demonstrating a genuine belief in the product. Charlie Bell, CEO, ate at Macs everyday. And died age 44, of colorectal cancer. Related to his 'low-residue' diet? No idea.

...and this from the man who introduced me to the joys of the two cheeseburger fries sandwich.

to be honest i'd be suprised if beyonce didn't eat the occasional chicken nugget but even if not to me there's an instincitve fit (hey, synergy!) between the purveyor of the world's favourite virtual foodstuffs and the sleek hypermodernity of destiny's child, lying in the exquisite tension between the synthetic and the natural. neither mac's foodlike substances nor DC's hermitically sealed sound sculptures give off the slightest indication that they have been within a whiff of anything so vulgar as organic matter and yet just as within each crazily artificial tower of bun and sauce there lies an indeniable hunk of flesh, robotic rodney jerkins and his cyborg minions can't quite bury the shameful fact that their objects d'art are soiled by the involvement of actual breathing, defecting persons.

also, if you're worried about the audience being hoodwinked into a life of burgers you should bear in mind the balancing effect of the fascistically upwardly mobile 'child making it abundently clear that low income fatties waddling in their faces will not be tolerated.
shee-eet - i did introduce you to the fries + cheese burger, didn't I?

a bit tasty that. now i want one. on the hippy site i nicked this story from, the comments section degenerated into a list of people saying exactly how much they wanted a burger.

i bet beyonce has 'no carbs after 6' etc.. decreed by her personal trainer.

dont know about DC, but the one Beyonce song i heard was crap.
i can only assume that the one beyonce song you know is 'crazy in love' but this cannot be so because your opinion would then make you a lunatic. the destiny's child comeback stuff out at the moment is a bit ropey but at their best they are impossibly great. 'bills bills bills' it is quite simply the most technologically advanced artifact the human race has produced. it even features some sort of space harpsicord to assure listeners there is no doubt that it is on permanent loop in the louis XIV space station in 2001.
no i disagree. you have to look to the fundamentals.. crazy right now is daft disco nonsense with an 'agadoo' equivalent tune no matter what the production values.

i actually submitted and went for a Mac's last night. it was, of course, rubbish and made me feel sad UNTIL i noticed that there was a red-carpet business outside on Leicester Sq and saw Chris Eubank arrive so late he had to peg it past everyone. unfortunately, he did not have especially strange clothes and only a medium-sized truck.

perhaps he was running because he did not have an umbrella.
I agree with Toe. I don't recognise "disco" as a pejorative; in fact, I own and enjoy disco music, and might even start dancing in a minute. "Crazy In Love" is not ephemera tarted up by a presidium of PR creatives. What it "really is" I couldn't say (surely you don't want me to), but it's not bad.

May Toe plot our course into the unknown.
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